This Wasn't the Plan: A Year in Review

Originally published in Readers Club publication on Medium.

The photo that accompanies this piece was taken on a hike in Panama. I was already a little unsettled after driving through two lightly armed checkpoints on our pre-dawn drive to a rural location about two hours from Panama City. According to the guidebooks, we were on a trail, though that was debatable.

At times, the flora brushed up near my shoulders. What unsettled me more was the fauna I could not see. Then we came across a sign that removed any remaining doubt.

I do not speak Spanish, but I knew enough to know it was time to turn around.

That moment stayed with me.

As the year comes to an end, it offers a natural opportunity to consider the past twelve months. It is a worthwhile exercise, at any time, really. Monthly. Quarterly. Whenever you are ready to honestly reflect.

On January 1, I noted in my journal that I was open to exploring what might be next this year, without having any idea what that would actually look like. I was not trying to overhaul my life but I felt something needed to shift.

I established my business last December, then unexpectedly decided to take a step back to consider the next steps for my career. I registered for one 70.3 Ironman and closed out the year completing three. I also completed a 50k trail run, the most challenging physical effort of the year, along with a 100-mile bike ride, better known as a century. I celebrated meaningful milestones with family and friends. Through coaching, I met talented, generous people while working alongside thoughtful mentors and colleagues.

I did not expect any of this. 

What is interesting is that much of what I am doing now was already bubbling up in my journal. Looking back, I can see how often I circled around service, helping others, and supporting clients in making decisions in challenging circumstances and in spite of obstacles. 

So I knew, but I didn’t. Or maybe I simply wasn’t ready to consider a change.

What I do know is that I've come to see how my thinking can serve as a barrier, how fear has shaped my decisions in subtle ways, and how I defined productivity and success too narrowly.

When you step back to consider the last twelve months, or even the last six, what you notice can be telling.

What moments brought you the most joy?

What weighed heavily on you?

What would you avoid, if you could?

Closely related to that:

What is working for you?

What is not?

Relationships matter here too. Some bring more stress and effort than connection or support. While it is not always possible to change these dynamics, where you do have choice, it may be worth asking whether a relationship is still working for you. It is possible for something to have been deeply meaningful and also complete. Circumstances change. People change.

Careers invite the same kind of reflection. Are there developmental opportunities worth exploring? New roles to consider? Or is this a moment to slow down or pause? None of these decisions need to be rushed. Pivots take time. But ignoring the questions has a cost too. And maybe everything is working for you. If it is, keep going.

What matters most to me is simple. Connection with family, friends, and clients. Waking up with purpose. Wanting to serve and make a difference. Longevity.

Turning fifty this year did what milestones tend to do. It gave me perspective. It helped me see where I want to invest my energy and where I no longer want to spend it. The past few years have brought enough change to make that clear.

As we look back on the year, we always have a choice. We can keep moving forward if what we are doing is working. Or we can turn around and choose something different than we expected, like we did in Panama, because we knew it was the right thing to do. Sometimes the hardest decision isn’t whether to keep going or turn back. It’s admitting that you already know which one is right.