Your Memories From 16 Years Ago

 Originally published in Crow's Feet: Life As We Age on Medium.

How Shutterfly helps me move forward without letting go

Am I the only one who stops breathing when Shutterfly (or its equivalent) sends the message, “Your memories from this week sixteen years ago”?

I immediately do the mental math. How old were my kids then? What stage of life were we in?

Until recently, those notifications carried a wave of sadness. I’d smile at the photos, but also mourn that life when the kids were kids, and we experienced the world through their eyes. We celebrated their wins, learned through their losses and soaked up the wonder of those years. Of course, I’d cherry-pick the memories, brushing aside the hard parts: the moments when parenting tested me, when life stretched me thin and I was doing my best to hold it all together.

That wave became a tsunami when grief and change collided: losing my husband, watching the kids leave home, and tiptoeing around career burnout. Some days I hit delete immediately, the images were just too much for me as I was grieving life as I knew it.

The funny thing is, I always knew these little time capsules were meant to spark joy. Sixteen years ago we weren’t documenting every second of life — just the smiles, milestones and laughter. They were snapshots of moments best lived. And this is where things shifted for me.

I flipped the script on how I looked at the past. We experienced so many beautiful times and some really hard ones. We lived it all, and it shaped who we are today. It served us well. Really well.

Perhaps we dwell on the past because it feels so full of meaning, connection and aliveness. And it was. But I’ve come to believe its role isn’t to convince us life was better back then. The past is proof of beauty, not the end of it. Its role is to remind us that what we loved then can guide what we create today.

Now when Shutterfly reaches out like an old friend, I look forward to it. I step into those moments, savor the memories, feel the joy they bring, and then return to the present. Grateful for the goodness of both then and now. We’ve all moved forward. Life has shaped us and continues to shape us.

This past year has brought so much joy and meaning: watching my children thrive as they pivot into their college and professional lives; pushing myself through a century bike ride, a 50k trail run, and two 70.3 Ironman races; celebrating life’s milestones with the people I love. The list keeps growing.

Now, I’m simply curious: who, what, and where will I be when Shutterfly reminds me of the best of 2025?

I used to be at war with the past, but we’ve reached a truce. As the years roll on and the snapshots keep coming, I realize that moving forward isn’t about leaving the past behind, it’s about carrying its memories with grace, curiosity, and a fierce, unshakable love for the life still unfolding.

Are you ready to consider things you never thought possible?

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